weekly reflection guide

When? Once per week. Preferably same time, same day. You might choose Monday mornings to set the tone for the week. Perhaps you’d prefer a Sunday afternoon to wrap it up. Or some time in the middle of the week when there’s still enough time for action. Feel free to experiment at the start, but lock down a consistent day and time as soon as you find somethings that aligns with your schedule.

Where? Ideally a neutral space - somewhere that isn’t home and isn’t work. Try and make it an enjoyable experience. For example, go to a coffee shop or treat yourself to breakfast. You could even sit in the park or near the beach, anywhere that makes you feel good to be there.

How long for? Allow an hour. Depending on your schedule or enthusiasm this might run a little longer or shorter some weeks.

What do I need? A pen and notebook that you only use for this purpose. It’s wonderful to see the book fill up. Fight the urge to use your phone or laptop. Typing your reflection is not the same. There is something about pen to paper that extracts a vulnerability that we don’t give to machines.

How do I start? Start by writing the date, time and location and then take a deep breath (or three) and begin to answer the following questions.

The questions are centred on your feelings. So focus on moments where you were feeling good, rather than when something good happened to you. For example, signing a new lease on a place might be a weight off your mind, but perhaps it didn’t feel as joyful as you’d thought. Or perhaps, an afternoon running errands doesn’t sound particularly exciting, but you felt energised and productive as you did them.

Q1. The Good Stuff - When did I feel good this week? What was I doing? Why did I feel good? What does this tell me about myself?
Think about all the good moments in your week including ones of unexplained or unexpected joy. Perhaps you remember feeling especially happy, smiley, chatty or in a good mood when picking up your coffee or riding to work. What contributed to this feeling? Perhaps it was the calm before a big day, an opportunity to sit quietly alone without distractions on your way to work, which might help you to notice that life has been especially intense or demanding recently. Or perhaps it was a chat with someone you enjoyed spending a little time with, which tells you that you’re craving or enjoying social interaction. These are often far more insightful moments than moments of expected joy such as getting a new job, closing a big deal or having a nice meal with friends. It’s important to recognise both, but don’t overlook the small ones. This series of questions should force you to think about why you were so happy at that moment; it’s often there that you will find real insights.

Q2. The Bad Stuff - When did I not feel so good? What was I doing? Why didn’t I feel good? What does this tell me about myself?
Now think about those moments of sadness, discomfort, resistance or unhappiness. Again, focus on how you felt. It doesn’t necessarily mean your emotions were as strong as sadness or anger, it can be any emotion that just wasn’t “good”. Perhaps you just felt a little “off” or empty. Again, these moments often hold more insight than when something awful happens and you naturally will feel down. You might surprise yourself. Perhaps you’d been looking forward to a particular occasion or piece of news, and when you got it, you just didn’t feel quite as overjoyed as you had hoped. Why do you think that is?

Q3. Review - Read through all your answers. What are the surprises? What are the patterns? Make sure you have gone through the series of questions for any moment that springs to mind. No limits. Some weeks one list will exceed the other, or they will both be overflowing. Other times there won’t be very much you can draw upon at all. However long the lists and commentary, look for the patterns both in this week’s and in the context of previous sessions. What are the people, places, habits and actions that repeatedly bring you apathy or joy? What are your feelings trying to teach you about who you are (versus who you think you are)? What surprises you? And where are the contradictions between how you expected to feel and how you did?

Q4. Commitments – What can I commit to next week to bring more of The Good Stuff into my life?
Use what you have learned from this week to drive your commitments for next week. For example, you might have noticed that you felt particularly good after a meeting and had a spring in your step. When you start deep-diving you realise that it’s because you knew what you were talking about and spoke confidently because you were prepared. So if it’s preparation that drives your confidence, next week your commitment might be to allow half an hour to prep before any important meeting. It could be that you enjoyed your morning coffee and when you dig into why, it’s because you didn’t feel rushed and you had enough time to sit in the cafe and relax before coming into the office. A suitable commitment would be to do that at least once this coming week and plan it into your schedule.

Remember that each week will be different. As you practice self-reflection more regularly, you can add in other sections or builds as you see fit. For example, I like to look at my values, annual themes (instead of resolutions) and my core desired feelings as part of the session. But don’t overcomplicate it. This guide is the perfect starting point.

Within one month you will start to see patterns, and within three to six months you will start to feel a real mindset shift as you actively start to change your life with each small weekly commitment. Every three months hold a celebratory session, your quarterly review. Spend time reading all your entries and noting common themes, and recurring commentary. Highlight any areas in which you have made great progress and any persistent issues that you continue to ignore. Use this to inform your direction for the three months ahead.

For more tools and templates and to continue building on this process, join the newsletter by entering your details below.